The Writings of a Borderline

1. Do you have pets? No
2. Name the three things physically close to you. This large blanket over my head, headphones, and Lucy (my in home spirit)
3) Whats the weather like right now? dark and cold
4) Do you drive, and if so have you crashed? does driving people crazy count?
5) What time did you wake up this morning? 6ish
6) When was the last time you showered? Good question...
7) What was the last movie you saw? when was VHS still around?
8) What was your last SMS/text message? Oops, Wrong person
9) What is your ring tone? Off
10) Have you ever been to a different country? yes
11) Do you like sushi? No, too slimy.
12) Where do you buy groceries? at the store where they sell tools
13) Have you ever taken medication to sleep? No
14) How many siblings do you have? four
15) Do you have a desktop or a laptop? lappy
16) How old will you be on your next birthday? One more year older than last time.
17) Do you wear contact or glasses? Glasses
18) Do you color your hair? No, its just black but I think I will go bald and beautiful.
19) Tell me what you're planning to do today? Boy you're nosy
20) When was the last time you cried? Just now, trying to answer these questions
21) What is your perfect pizza topping? Pepperoni
22) Which do you prefer? Hamburgers or cheeseburgers ? Cheese burgers
23) Have you ever had an all-nighter? If an all nighter consists of two minutes then sure....mostly half nighters.
24) What is your eye color? hazel
25) Can you taste the difference between pepsi and coke? Yes you drink pepsi and you snort coke.

The howling winds of a predestined tempest fiercely echo into her ears. She sits outside her window, hanging her toes off the edge of reason. Tears rain down her fragile face, reminiscing a life where everything made sense. She is desperate to hold onto the hopes of a rescue from what could have been, an unknown, future love. Yet, with a broken heart, she lives in turmoil, with no hopes of a release from the grim nothing.

My friends and fellow bloggers +A Long & +Jasveena Prabhagaran  have nominated me for this esteemed award. The Very Inspiring Blogger Award! 

Here is a link to A.Long's blog  and  Jasveena's blog. Check out their blogs! I guarantee you will enjoy it thoroughly.


In keeping with the rules in accepting this award, I must adhere to the following stipulations:

1)Display the award logo on my blog.

2) State SEVEN facts about myself.

3)Link back to the person who nominated you.

4)Nominate FIFTEEN other Bloggers who deserve this award.

5)Notify each of the Bloggers of their nomination of this award.




+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, here I go...wish me luck..this could get messy... lol

Seven facts about myself? (hold please whilst I consult my alter ego...)


1) I need chaos to focus...

2) I've studied nine different languages (going on 10).

3) I was a model in my younger days until I decided to pursue other things in life including going to school to  study Criminal /Justice/Law.

4) I have certificates in Sharp Shooting (yes..run) contests and I can fly a helicopter (if zombies were to take over and there happened to be one left with keys inside).

5) I am extremely talented in burning water...

liar

Hush.

Sorry, unruly voices.

Where was I? Oh, yes..

9) I'm dyslexic

7) I'm an ex-fireman (woman) and rescue specialist  (but now I'm too lazy to do that. Instead, I will point out the location of the faucet)



The bloggers that I've learned so much from and immensely enjoyed reading are:




+Glendon Perkins   http://www.glendonperkins.com

+Jasveena Prabhagaran http://thoughtsandviewsthatmatter.blogspot.dk/

+A Long http://ajwrites57.blogspot.dk/

+Matt Ewens  www.mattrobertewens.wordpress.com/

 +Mary Cain    http://www.maryswriteway.blogspot.dk/

+James Mayes 

+Kevin Moriarty 

 +Hawke Isaacs     http://storiesofaneverydayguy.blogspot.it

 +Brian Meeks      http://www.extremelyaverage.com

 +S.C. Barrus          www.awayandaway.com/

+Bryan Dufrene www.googleplussuomi.com 

+Kori Miller www.korimiller.wordpress.com

+Karen Conlin plus.google.com/u/0/115954208232626820983/posts

+Brock Yarbro  www.writtenbybrock.blogspot.dk

+Nathan Michaels www.thestoryofchallenge.blogspot.dk

+dheeru arya www.thestoryofchallenge.blogspot.dk






Thank you everyone for being such an inspiration in your creations. Also, thank you for being there when I had questions or needed help. You're a wonderful group and I'm proud of have you in my writing family. 


with all the craziness I can offer..

A.Joleigh

Perfect Imperfections



This little girl grew up in a disfunctional family
with their oh so disfunctional ways..
Days spent making wishes and dreaming up dreams
that her uglyness will be taken away.


Children poked fun at her outward appearance
calling her relentless, cruel, degrading names.
Staining her self esteem. Pushing her to solitude.
Viewing her life ahead as useless, unwanted, insane.


Her mother kept her locked up inside the house
to protect her daughter from lifes cruelty.
Hiding her away from anymore disappointment.
Doing whats best, or so she believed.


No longer a little girl but now a grown woman
she still lives her days in fear..
The gasping and shrilling passerbys will make.
Once again, the naughty names she will hear.


Daring, one sunny day, she ventured into the village
to visit the busy, crowded markets.
Hiding her face beneath her self made shaw.
Her obstinate grip, holding so desperately to it.


Easing her tension as she trusts in her disguise
she enjoys being amongst the ones so ignorant.
Never would they believe a hideous monster
had been shopping right within their distance.


Eyeing a magnificent necklace. Holding close to her neck.
Imagining herself a glorious Princess.
For once, a smile is captured on her pale skinned face.
For once, she didnt feel so worthless.


Caught off guard, still entranced in her illusions,
a passerby randomly bumps her shoulder.
Not noticing at all that her shaw did fall
for she was distracted and a little bewildered.


This stranger was in no hurry to flee from her
yet stood there with a smile in his eyes.
Breaking out in nervous sweats, she fought for calm.
Her body and mind made no compromise.


The young man standing before her stares at her shaw
and after a few moments, comes to him, a thought.
He then, mutely, points down at his arms
showing he's well covered. Also shielded by cloth.


No need to put their feelings to words
for their eyes spoke it abundantly.
They both were born unacceptable in their worlds.
A world where society was ruled by vanity.


They parted ways and went back to their abodes
so enamoured with the eyes of a stranger.
Not able to wait for their next random date
he builds up the courage to see her..


Wrapped up inside his well protecting cloth
he approaches her well hidden home ..
Noticing the signs on her property read
''beware, 'tis where the monster roams''.


Empathetic is he to what her life must be
as he practices what he will say at her door.
Perhaps silence will be the better option here
after all, his actions can say so much more.


She sees him from her bedroom window
watching him nervously shuffle his feet..
Wondering how he had found her home
and what he could possible happen to seek.


She cautiously opens the door to outside
 Using her shaw to conceal the unsightly.
Without hesitation or reservations
she approaches and asks him outrightly..


''What business do you have in this part of the land?''
The tone in her voice attempting to deter him.''
''I come searching for the most beautiful woman around.
The most unique beauty found from within''.


''You dont understand what it is that you seek''.
She said to him with complete certainty.
''Underneath all of the rags and yarn
 lies an ugly beast or so they've rightfully named me''.


With hearing her words he removes his robe
revealing the scales along his skin..
''You see my lady, I completely understand
and will kindly remind you again..


I am here in search of the fairest of maidens
and alas I have laid my eyes upon her.
You, my dear, take my breath away
and the butterflies in my stomach you stir''.


With worry to disappoint and rejection
she removes her shaw from her figure.
Closing her eyes to not see his reaction.
Silence fell and for a second they linger.


She opens her eyes to see unexpected
surprise among his adoring face..
Not once did he flinch at her hag-like features
but stood perfectly in his place.


Not, did he notice that her eyes were
different shades of muddy water.
That her back hunched like a creature.
Nor did he notice the caluses and her scars.


Instead he saw the most breathtaking beauty
standing before him baring all..
Expecting her comely appearance would scare him away
but she was wrong and so in love they fall.


Where others see a hunchback woman
he sees the angel of his dreams..
and where they see a deformed old hag
he sees what really lies inbetween.


No matter how beautiful you are outwardly
there is no hiding your flaws or mistakes..
For beauty is measured deep within yourself.
A genuine personality you simply cant fake.


So next time some imbecile does mention
just how ugly they think you to be outside.
Just feel comfort within yourself to know
that they've got the ugly you simply cant hide.


A. Joleigh

LOST


My eyes cry many oceans,
The weeping violin plays my heart.
It all comes crashing down around me
whenever we are apart.

I long to see your eyes
and the looks upon your face.
I miss the way our lives were lived
with no knowledge of time nor space.

My skin shivers in anxiety,
my fingers hunger for your soul.
Without having your body around me
everything around me seems so cold.

Electric pains eat up my spine
at the thought of you being so far.
Scared to death that my mental self
will damage everything we are.

I cant eat nor sleep nor think anymore
because in mind, you are everywhere.
Tossing 'n' turning in my empty bed
waking, only to see that you're not there.

One day I love you and the next.. I hate you.
I cant make up my minds.
On one side I cant live without you,
and with the other, myself i need to find.

Crying, screaming and dying inside
I feel my soul deminish..
For once in my life I'd like to find
one thing that I can finish.

Fears consume me and my love ruins me
and then at last Im trapped
by my own desires and mind of a coward
only to find my mind has snapped.

I beg of you your forgiveness
and pray that you understand
that these things I cannot control.
They are completely out of my hands.

Only the amazing person that you are
will see the real person I can be
but only to have to live life in hell
to try to save this girl in me.

It pains me more that you have to see
whats going on inside my head.
Some days I feel Im on cloud nine
and others, i live numb. Im living dead.

Please try to understand more
about what is going on with me.
See that there are times that come
where I just need to be set free.

I ache always and I weep outloud
hoping someone out there will hear
that im begging, sobbing for help
for a chance at life I once held dear.



----A.Joleigh

Grande Love

She remains awake in the lonely nights
with thoughts of him playing there beside her.
With all of the ''what ifs'', the ''mights'',
the ''maybes'' and the passion in which she moliors.

Uncertain is the future and what it beholds.
 She hangs on unyieldingly to her illusions.
Fairy tale is her life, a hopeless story never told.
A novel in the making. Gradeur are her delusions.

She sits solemnly at her Baby Grande piano
strumming her fingers along the black and whites.
Thinking about the parts of love she'll never know
because of her troubles that deligate her life.

Shes loved him from afar for so many years
too insecure to tell him what lies in her heart.
 Many times shes hindered by her own fears.
 Resulting from life's unpleasantness, exists her rampart.

The music pours through her soul and into the keys
speaking for her emotions and her pain.
Hearing the notes replacing her own words and pleas
once having played them to never be heard again.

 Years pass her by as she resides beside the Grande
still speaking her thoughts through her melodies.
Muscially and inspirationally the piano takes her hand
guiding her frailness to and fro from what, in her, it sees.

The beautiful Grande is now the love of her life
replacing the man who once held her admiration.
The man who's ''Grande'' was his own whistling fife.
The fife who distracted him more with dedication.

There was no competing with the lovers of music
as they only trust their instruments faithful.
A time when life seems to incredibly tragic
can be transformed to make life seem a bit mirthful.

Her baby Grande so sympathetic to her woes
has eternally been there along side her.
Through the burning summers and the wintery snows
they play together and flaming spirits incur.

Potential suitors come and go through the revolving doors
but none stay around just long enough
to find out just how amazing this little woman is
and find out exactly what it is shes made of.

''But, it is okay,'' she tells herself again and again.
Encouraging her lonely heart to stay strong.
and never having to hear to herself explain
why there is loneliness and where she had gone wrong.

So day by day for the rest of her poetic life
she will forever remain on her bench and play
along with her beautiful Grande piano
in hopes of a true love that might come her way..


----A.Joleigh

...and so they danced


His frail wrinkled hand shivers
as he cautiously lays it on top of his wife's.
Not wanting to disturb the sleep,
of the most unforgettable love of his life.

Barely able to open her eyes to see
yet able to feel his tender touch.
She smiles with a sigh and tries to reply
with how she yearns for him so much.

A deep heavy sleep she drifts back to
 as he examines the needles in her arm.
Wishing so badly that he could save her.
Saving her from any more potential harm.

Reminiscent his daydreams now become
remembering the first day that they had met.
Once only a waitress in a small cafe
and now a woman he'll never forget.

Looking back on the good times that they have had
in the past wonderful fifty years..
The times of love making, laughing and fighting
making life for them more precious and dear.

At the end of their routine like days
he would turn on their favorite song
and pick her up into his arms
and kindly ask her to dance along.

And so they danced into the sunsets
never looking away from one another..
Wanting to make that single moment last.
Wanting to dance this dance forever..

Anniversaries pass and their children have grown.
Still, as the day ends, he turns off the lights..
letting the music help him sweep her away
along with him into an unforgettable night ..

The beeping on the monitors awaken him
from the days of life uncomplicated..
Wishing that there was some sacrifice to make.
Determined to fight this for her, so dedicated..

He rolls over to her on the hospital bed
running his fingers through her thin grey hair..
Whispering a tune, a tune from their song
hoping to sooth her thoughts in there..

Removing the tubes to the side of her face,
 kisses on her eyes and nose, he plants.
''My love, My darling, My Ginger Rogers,
may I have this one last dance?''.

With all the strength she has inside
she raises her hand up to his own
and right where they lay their hands do sway
giving her a feeling of home..

His quivering mouth rests next to her ears
as he hums still, to her, their tune.
Knowing that deep down within himself
she will be leaving him behind very soon..

Mumbling, she begins, to him and says
''My love, my darling, my Fred Astaire,
don't be saddened at my time near at hand.
Just remember Ill always be there..

When you feel the room become lonely
and you feel the need to prance.
Feel free to take me along with you
to share our ever lasting, never forgotten, first dance.''

A. Joleigh